That’s probably the best word to describe how I’ve been feeling the past few weeks. It seems like I’ve been fighting an uphill battle. During my last doctor appointment, my doctor told me that I should be taking coconut oil. It’s good for the brain, and since I’ve been having a lot of memory and concentration problems, she felt it would be good for me. I actually had already been incorporating it into my diet over the last month. At first, it was fine. Then suddenly, every time I had some, I’d immediately get nauseated. Each time it got a little worse. I decided to take a few days off from taking it, then take only a very small amount. That day, the nausea and stomach cramps were so bad I almost lost my dinner. I stopped taking the coconut oil, but the nausea lasted for days. I had to lie very still to keep from vomiting. I couldn’t eat much. I was worried I’d lose more weight, and I don’t have much weight to spare. I developed a fever on a day that was 106 F outside and 95 F in my bedroom. Talk about a bad day to fight a fever! I got over the fever in a few hours, and the nausea and cramps a day or two later. But needless to say, coconut oil and I are over. And now I feel much better. Well, maybe just back to normal. My normal.
Right after that, I had a couple of good days, and then a bunch of days when my fatigue was so bad that I felt like I couldn’t walk in a straight line. I wake up in the morning, thinking I can get up and go out with my family, and in a matter of minutes after being at the store, I’m done. Completely, utterly “let’s go back to bed and start over tomorrow” done.
That’s how these last couple of weeks have been. Also, it’s been hot. Not as hot as it got when I lived in Africa, but hot enough that it gets a little uncomfortable at times. So, ugh. That’s how I feel.
On a bright note, I just got a pair of really cute red shoes. I love pretty shoes. Because I don’t go out very much and can’t wear them, I put some of my prettiest shoes by my bed and look at them, and that makes me happy. It might sound a little crazy, but hey, it works for me. Honestly, I think God brings these little happy things into my life just when I need them. They may seem insignificant to others, but they remind me that there’s life beyond chronic illness.